Sweet Little Nothing Read online

  Sweet Little Nothing

  LK Farlow

  © 2021 by LK Farlow

  All rights reserved.

  Cover Design: Y’all. That Graphic.

  Photographer: Lindee Robinson

  Models: Shannon and Dimi

  Editing: Librum Artis Editorial Services & My Brother’s Editor

  Proofreading: Deaton Author Services

  No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations in a book review.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  The author acknowledges the trademark status and trademark owners of various products referred to in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

  www.authorlkfarlow.com

  Created with Vellum

  Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Chapter Forty

  Chapter Forty-One

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Chapter Forty-Three

  Chapter Forty-Four

  Chapter Forty-Five

  Chapter Forty-Six

  Chapter Forty-Seven

  Epilogue

  What’s Next

  Let’s Keep In Touch

  Resources

  Acknowedgements

  To my Phoobs, for loving me through all of my highs and lows.

  Also, to anyone who’s ever felt like you aren’t enough. You. Fucking. Are.

  Prologue

  Emmy

  There isn’t a single cell of my body that doesn’t ache.

  It’s the kind of hurt that pierces your skin and sinks into your veins, your bones, your fucking soul. It’s the kind of pain that eats away at you like poison, consuming all of the good within you until all that’s left is a shell.

  I stumble, tripping over my own feet as I cross my bedroom. “Stupid, so stupid,” I mutter, righting myself. I flip on the lights as I enter my bathroom, recoiling at the bright light. God, even my eyes hurt.

  I guess days upon days of crying will do that, huh?

  My fingers tangle in my limp, dirty hair, and I wince as I tug on the ends, my past and my present colliding in my mind, morphing into a single mangled nightmare.

  “It’s okay, Em. When you love someone, this is okay,” my stepbrother croons in my ear, his soft tone a stark difference to his rough touch. I wanted to tell him I didn’t love him. I wanted to yell and shout and scream for help, but my fear of him far outweighed my self-preservation. The last time I called for help, he backhanded me; when my mother asked what happened, Rob said I tripped and hit the dresser.

  She believed him, too—didn’t even ask me.

  My heart beats raggedly, like someone ripped the already damaged organ from my chest, shredded what was left of it, stomped on the pieces, and then hastily shoved the tattered remains back beneath my ribs.

  “You like that puppy my daddy brought you?” Rob asks, and I nod. “Then you better do what I say or he might just disappear.”

  “Stop, stop, stop!” I plea, the words a garbled cry to the universe. I want it all to go away, for the memories of then and the horrors of now to all stop. But I learned long ago there’s no one out there listening. Not to the likes of me, anyway. My own mother didn’t even hear my cries as I begged and pleaded for her to take my side.

  “Not enough.” I pivot in a wide circle, clipping my hip on the vanity. “Never enough. Stupid!”

  Tears cloud my vision as I struggle to breathe. I want… I need the pain to stop. For my past to stop haunting me. For the taunts and leers to go away.

  I’m a top spinning out of control, desperate for someone—anyone—to save me from the path my own self-loathing is shoving me down. If I’d have been stronger—smarter—none of this would’ve happened to me.

  I thought a fresh start would be the cure, but like a dark cloud, my secrets and scars followed me. And now, this place, what should have been a safe haven, is as tainted as the home I fled.

  All because of Sterling Abbot—Rob’s best friend. With a torch in one hand and a pitchfork in the other, Sterling’s on a mission to make me pay for my alleged transgressions against my stepbrother.

  “You thought you’d get off scot-free? That you’d run away and hide your sins? Not on my watch. You ruined him, his entire life, and now I’m going to ruin you. I’m going to dismantle everything you’ve ever loved. I’m going to dissect you, take you apart, and scatter the pieces. You think you regret spreading your legs for him? You’re going to regret spreading those lies even more. Take a seat, Emmalyn. Class is about to start.”

  My breaths heave in and out of my lungs as a humorless laugh slips past my trembling lips. God knows, there’s not a single person on this planet who cares enough to try and pull me from the murky depths of my misery. If anything, they’d press their boots to the back of my head and hold me under.

  My hands shake as I press down on the lid, pushing to the right.

  “Dammit,” I cry as the orange bottle slips, and my blessed relief falls to the floor. The tablets scatter and roll around my feet as I fall to my knees in a desperate attempt to gather them.

  With one hand clutching pills, I grip the edge of the vanity and pull myself back to standing with the other. The reflection staring back at me is the face of a stranger. She looks like me, but different, too. The face in the mirror is how I feel inside—worthless… empty… hollow.

  Already gone.

  I watch as she raises her hand and jams the pills into her mouth. The plasticky outer-coating quickly gives way to a bitter taste. Her face puckers, and so does mine.

  She is me, but she’s more than me. She’s all of my hurt and bitterness and suffering personified. She’s the part of me that’s broken beyond repair—used up and dirty, unwanted and unloved. She’s the voice urging me to end it all. I’ve fought her for so long, but now… my fight is gone.

  With a flick of my wrist, water pours from the faucet. I lean down and suck the liquid into my mouth, my throat working overtime as I swallow it all down.

  With the
bottle empty, I collapse back down to the floor, the water still running.

  I sit slumped against the tub for God knows how long, waiting—praying—for death. For relief. Time has no meaning here.

  A fine sheen of sweat covers me as my vision blurs. My head feels heavy, and my stomach churns as unwanted visions plague me behind my heavy, drooping lids.

  “If you loved me you, wouldn’t do this,” I sob as Rob smiles cruelly down at me.

  His lips curl into an ugly sneer. “If you really loved me, you’d give freely. Then I wouldn’t have to take.”

  But I don’t… I don’t love him.

  And because of him, no one will ever love me. Not that it matters. Nothing matters. Nothing about me matters to anyone. I’m a waste of space, wasting away.

  I try to laugh at my own morbidity, but no sound comes out. My body sways and I slump sideways, banging my head on the side of the tub.

  I struggle against his hold, but it’s no use. “Love is kind,” I whisper brokenly. “And you’re a monster; you’re incapable of love.”

  His gaze darkens as his hand around my throat tightens, crushing my windpipe. “And you’re a little bitch. Always walking around here, teasing me.” Rob skims his index finger over the apple of my cheek and I flinch. “You’re pure, but don’t worry, Em. I’m going to dirty you up real good.”

  The phone rings again… or maybe it’s my ears.

  Who would even call me? Not even Stella, my one and only friend on campus, would care now—Sterling made sure of that.

  My heart thunders in my chest.

  Someone knocks on the front door.

  He’s never taken things this far before. “Rob, please. Please don’t.” Tears stain my cheeks as my pleas for him to stop pour out of me.

  I vomit into my lap as the sound of my name reverberates through the house. No, that’s not right. There’s no one—I’m hearing things.

  Even though my eyes are closed, I’m weeping. Sobbing for my stolen innocence.

  “You’re mine, Em.” He fists my hair with the hand that isn’t wrapped around my throat. “Mine.”

  A sob breaks free as he destroys my virtue with just one thrust. Countless tears paint my cheeks as I force my mind to drift away to somewhere better... somewhere safe.

  “Emmalyn!” someone—no one—yells as tremors overtake my body.

  Only one person calls me that, but he wants me gone, too. I wonder if he’ll smile when he hears the news? It might be the first time I make someone happy.

  Someone bangs on the door. “Emmalyn!” His voice sounds crazed, worried even. I must be dreaming, because Sterling Abbot doesn’t give a shit about me.

  The door splinters open, and everything goes dark.

  Chapter One

  Sterling

  “How are you holding up, man?” I ask, drumming my fingers on the mahogany bar top. It’s inlaid with satinwood and has the kind of patina where you can’t tell if the wood is centuries old or only made to look it.

  My lifelong best friend peers at me over the rim of his crystal glass, a storm brewing in his dark gaze. “Fucking peachy.”

  “Self-pity doesn’t suit you.” I’m a shit for being so blunt, but everyone else in Rob’s life babies him. They all treat him like he’s as fragile as a Fabergé egg—priceless and delicate—when really, he’s nothing more than an entitled, over-privileged, and under-supervised son of a bitch.

  Be that as it may, the jackass has been my best friend for as long as I can remember.

  He shrugs, unfazed by the truth in my words. “Little bitch is trying to ruin me,” he growls. “How do you think I’m doing?”

  I spin on my stool to face him fully. “What are you going to do?”

  “Simple.” His lips curl up in a devious smile, and he tosses back the remaining whiskey in his glass. “I’m going to ruin her right back.”

  “Isn’t Em—she leaving for college?” I almost slip up and say her name. I guess I do coddle him a little, but this is out of self-preservation, because Rob goes apeshit at the mere mention of her name.

  “Actually” —he pins me with a cold stare— “I need your help.”

  “How can I help?” I regret asking no sooner than the words pass my lips. The calculating gleam in his eye all but promises I’m not going to like what he says next.

  “Dad says she’s going to Central Valley.”

  An uneasy feeling settles in my gut. Is it merely a coincidence for her to end up at the same school I’m doing my apprenticeship at?

  It doesn’t feel like one.

  No, it feels like a carefully planned step in Rob’s revenge plot.

  This is his battle to wage, but something tells me I’m about to be drafted as an unwilling soldier.

  Helping a friend wronged is one thing, being nothing more than a means to an end is quite another.

  “What’s with the look?” my best friend asks, his voice infused with steel. His temper is hair-trigger, and I know from experience that I do not want to be in the line of fire when it goes off.

  “Nothing, man. There’s no look.”

  “You think it’s okay for that little bitch to get off scot-free after what she did to me?” His chest heaves as he struggles not to go full-on Hulk. “You think it’s no big deal she told everyone with a set of fucking ears that I raped her?” His volume increases with each unfounded accusation. He lunges at me from his stool, and I’ve had enough. “Maybe you fucking think—”

  “What I think”—I bite out the words, fisting his shirt with both hands while holding him at arm’s length—“is you need to fucking chill. I’ve got your back, Rob. Always. I just need to make sure it’s in a way that doesn’t compromise my future.”

  Rob slumps back down into his seat and hangs his head. “She compromised mine,” he mumbles under his breath.

  It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him that being told you have to wait for the media shitstorm to blow over before being promoted isn’t quite the same as losing your job. But I digress.

  “She’ll get hers,” I say, trying to reassure him.

  He swings his gaze back up to mine, his face a blank mask, void of any and all emotion. “Even if it fucking kills me.”

  His vow sends an arctic chill down my spine. I try to shake it off as Rob being Rob. As long as I’ve known him, he’s been a surly fucker with an attitude problem unlike any other.

  Unfortunately, the older we get, the worse he gets. And at some point, I fear he’ll cross the line he’s been toeing and dive head-first into the darkness.

  In the blink of an eye, he’s settled and calm, with his cool mask in place. “Will you make it to Levi’s party tonight?”

  I bring my glass to my lips, sipping at my drink to buy myself some time. The way Rob can seamlessly move between personas is… unnerving, to say the least. “Unfortunately, no. I need to get on the road before the sun rises if I want to make good time.”

  Rob cocks his head to the side, studying me, looking for the lie. Luckily, my words are as true as they are not, which is probably my saving grace.

  “Right. It’s a long drive.”

  Exhaling out a relieved breath, I nod. “Got a lot to do before the academic year starts.”

  “I’m counting on you,” Rob growls, his dead eyes hard on mine. “Don’t fuck this up.”

  “I’ve got your back, man.”

  Again, Rob appraises me for a long moment before finally nodding.

  Chapter Two

  Emmy

  “A fresh start.”

  I mumble the words under my breath for what has to be the billionth time as I drive up the narrow, winding road that leads to the secluded Central Valley campus.

  I’ve said and heard those three stupid words so many times over the past nine months, I almost believe they’re true.

  God, I hope they’re true.

  My breath catches as the campus comes fully into view. The brochure in the welcome packet definitely sold this place short.

 
; Nestled into the side of a mountain, the campus is spread over a lush valley, perfectly hidden away behind a thicket of trees.

  Honestly, it’s charming, which only fuels my hope of this place being my redemption.

  The grounds are overflowing with students and their families, and laughter rings through the air as old friends reunite after a long summer.

  If I had to sum up the Central Valley campus in one word, it would be happy. This place radiates happy and maybe… just maybe… all of this bustling life and laughter is a good omen of what’s to come.

  I guide my Honda—while a nice ride to the average person, it may as well be a jalopy compared to most of the cars in this lot—into a free spot and kill the engine.

  All around me are students decked out in the latest name-brand fashions. They look golden and shiny and untouched by the darker side of life. But I know, probably better than most, not to judge a book by its cover.

  I manage to suppress my doubt before stepping out of the car, nearly hitting a passerby with my door. “Sorry—”

  “Oh my God! Fucking watch it, you broke bitch!” the gorgeous blonde screeches as she shoves past me, effectively knocking me back into the driver’s seat.